Gizmo reports from 2nd Round of Intermediate Championship

“We prepared well, stuck to the plan and capitalised on our scoring platforms”, said mentor Mick Maher immediately after an exhilarating performance on Saturday last in PUM. He went on to say, “It was a great squad performance with a welentless wuthlessness”. Who knew Mick had a lisp!!! Early scores from McGarry and Keogh set the tone for a game that was played at breakneck speed but never really developed into a contest.
Playing like a team with a point to prove, Boden made more turnovers than Old Mr Brennan. Kane’s kick-out creativity and variation created multiple platforms for the front six to exploit. Off-the-shoulder running and spreading the play had the Thomas Davis defence in a tailspin for most of the evening. Only for the fact that the Boden attack butchered more goal chances than F.X. Buckleys, this game could have been a done deal by halftime. Sandwiched between points from Keogh and Dunne, came the ‘Wonder Pass’ (for those of you in attendance, this has officially been reclassified as a ‘Pass’ and definitely not a ‘Shot’) from wing forward McGuire. John perfectly executed the dying art of the 45-yard, two-mile high in air ball, targeted to land on the fingertips of the Boden forward, who incidentally, was busy reading the newspaper waiting for the ball to return from the sky. Thankfully, Duggan put the crossword down just in time to catch the ball and lay it off to Cullen who lifted the stanchions from the ground. Goal.
Going into the break 5 points to the good, we caught up with mentor Brendan Young, “We just need to keep our composure and introduce fresh legs at the right juncture” he droned. Brendan may seem boring but, take the time and get to know him and you’ll soon realise that you were right in the first place.
The second half was much the same as the first with Boden controlling large parts of the game. The introduction of fresh legs compounded Davis’s misery with each replacement being of the calibre that would feel hard done by for not securing a starting berth. In a surprise move [team manager] Monahan introduced the ever-green Tony Hassett (59) although he could be older)) to the far wing. Coming from a Kane kick out, Hassett fielded the ball with all the grace of an arthritic pensioner with an enlarged prostate. After carrying the ball over the line, an altercation developed between the aforementioned Hassett and the 6′ 2″ Thomas Davis wing-back. Challenging his opponent to 3 bouts of the Marquess of Queensbury Rules, Hassett had to quickly backtrack when he realised that the wingback was far too eager to take him up on his offer.
This display of geriatric defiance spurred on the rest of the team and quick-fire points from Sweeney & Flanagan, along with another well-worked goal from Dunne and the game was all but over as a spectacle.
As the final whistle sounded, we got the scattered thoughts of manager Donal Monahan, 
“I always look forward to a local derby, more for the unbridled violence than the football. I was up at 6am this morning, I just couldn’t sleep”, he said. 
“Was the excitement too much for you?” quizzed this bewildered hack.
“No, I’m a serial bedwetter”, came the surprising retort. “Can I congratulate my niece on passing her Leaving Cert mouth organ exam?” said a pungent Monahan
“Of course, you can.” I replied.
“Well done, Our Monica”, he laughed. Whoever said Donal hasn’t got a sense of humour, how right you are………………….
Final Score:  BBSE 3-9 Thomas Davis 0-8
Next up: All or nothing clash with St. Sylvesters in PUM on 3rd September. Match tickets from €12.99 are available from Donal Monahan Enterprises or
Team: Josh Kane, Conor Hanrahan, Jack Lambert, Brian Bobett, Oisin Carolan, Eoghan Gannon, John Murphy, Rob Cullen (1-0), Neil Hester, David Keogh (0-1), Barra McGarry (0-2 (1xF)), John McGuire, Daire Sweeney ((0-4 (1xF)), Ciaran Duggan, Michael Dunne (1-1 (1xF)), Colm Dunne (1-0), Stephen McGrath, Evan Flanagan (0-1), Keith Sweeney, Ruairi Kirwin, David Keane, Malachy Codd, Shane Kennedy, Callum Grey, Scott Cullen, Conor Lowe, Robbie O’Reilly, Fionn Maguire
Credit to Adriano Elisei for the photos. Click here for more.