Gizmo reports from the Division 5 clash

When you get to my age, you become nostalgic for the past and airbrush history through the lenses of rose-tinted glasses. While waiting for the game to start, I spotted club official Tony Hassett, and his dress sense immediately transported me back to the 1980’s. Ahh yes, the 80’s, what a great decade! Sony Walkman, leg warmers, rubix cube, trivial pursuit, soda stream, angel delight and the unbridled savagery of a lower division Junior football match. All now consigned to the dusty vaults of time, never to be seen again. You’d think…………

Fresh from their opening league victory over Man O War, this Boden Division 5 team were looking to notch up another 2 league points. Playing on the main stage of Pairc Ui Mhurchu in front of a crowd that at one stage swelled to at least 11 people, the lads were out to showcase their intentions for the season. Under the new Stewardship of Brendan Meaney, Paul Dolan, Tadhg Cashman and club buffoon, Declan Maguire, this talented group of players would have to work hard, to ignore the managerial ramblings of the aforementioned ‘has-beens’.
From the throw in, Monica’s set out their stall with a physicality not witnessed since some poor unfortunate told Conor McGregor that his whisky tastes like piss. Utter carnage. With flying elbows, late tackles, off the ball tussles, rabbit punches and headlocks, this event was not for the faint hearted. Unsurprisingly, Boden found it hard to settle and points from Monahan, McGinn, Cashman and Weldon saw them lead 4 points to 1 after the opening quarter. However, there was a direct correlation between the extent of Boden’s lead and the level of recklessness displayed by St. Monica’s. Boden’s mid-field man Maguire had to be carried from the field following a tackle of gross negligence, the likes of which has no place on a football pitch. His replacement Cullen also had to be carried from the pitch later in the game, after sustaining a broken bone in his foot. While McGlynn, a beast of a man built like the cliffs of Moher, so much so he has seagulls circling his head, was replaced at half time with damaged ribs. Enough said.
An extremely scrappy period of play was settled, when Weldon and McGinn raised green flags in quick succession. Topped off with points from Cullen and another from Cashman, Boden went to the interval 2-6 to 0-1. Calming words from mentors Dolan & Meaney, along with the introduction of Egan, McGrath & McPartland, the 2nd period would be about ‘conflict avoidance’ and injury prevention. (There’s two words that you don’t see very often in match reports, ‘Conflict Avoidance’. A new module for the Level 1 coaching course!!!!!). Defensively, Boden were very strong with McWalter and Monahan particularly noticeable in the tackle and turnover.
The midfield partnership of Lynch and Weldon were exceptional at both fielding and creating scoring platforms for the likes of McGinn and rising star O’Reilly. In truth, the game was over as a contest before it even began and when you glance at the final score, you will wonder if Monica’s availed of an AIB 90% Score Write Down. So as this hack ambled across to Boden Bliss to get a Wibbly Wobbly Wonder, A Golly Bar or a Loop the Loop, I was consumed by the thought that although 80’s nostalgia can give you that warm fuzzy feeling, there are certain things that should be left in the past and never revisited.
Final Score: BBSE 3-14 St.Monica’s 0-3
The Team: Adam Farrell, Patrick McWalter, Michael Dunne, Mark Reynolds, Ronan Long, Ciaran Cashman, David Monahan (0-1), Joe Maguire, Daniel Lynch, Karl Weldon (1-2), Enda Cashman (0-4), Aodhan O’Reilly (0-2), John McGinn (2-4), Connell McGlynn, Laurence Murphy, Conor Cullen (0-1), Charlie McPartland, Eoin Egan, Stephen McGrath.