“Go out and play good positive attacking football” was the instruction from Intermediate football manager Donal Monahan, via video link from his winter bolt hole in Monaco. Donal was getting some much-needed winter sun, to aid his arthritic back caused after years of carrying his vast team of useless assistant coaches. “Why buy a dog and bark yourself”, was the last thing he said before we lost the connection to his luxury Villa.
A tough assignment against a well organised Clanna Gael team, was a cagey affair for the opening 15 minutes. A hat trick of points from Byrne and one from Dunne (Colm) had the sides level at 4 points apiece. Following some hard graft from Baines and McDonald in mid-field, a breakaway move resulted in another free for Byrne to edge Boden in front. It was then that word came from the Principality to switch Duggan into full forward. Monahan, who was watching the game via satellite link on his 72″ OLED 4K Sony TV, whilst sipping a chilled glass of Bollinger, quaffing on Quail, and enjoying the inner warmth of a hand rolled vintage Cuban cigar. What an insightful instruction that was. Duggan, playing deep and timing runs with the precision of one of Monahan’s handcrafted Swiss Rolex timepieces, carved open the space to allow the ever-present O’Reilly rattle the back of the net. Duggan raised a brace of white flags before finishing off a wonderful team move to register goal number two.
Leading 2-9 to 0-7 at half time with caught up with mentor Mick Maher, “The defence have been phenomenal, we’re limiting their chances, forcing them into quick decisions and ensuring McGrath (Net minder) is not troubled.” he went on to say, “please quote me as an anonymous source, if Monahan thinks I’m moving against him, he’ll have me taken out. Nobody’s seen Wally Durkin since he questioned Monahan’s choice of Salvatore Ferragamo handmade leather shoes”
The second half started much the same as the first, with the opening quarter a hard-fought affair and Boden only registering one point from the boot of Duggan while Clanna Gael notched up just 2 points. The introduction of Murphy, Flanagan, Doogan and Kane seemed to shake things up, with Flanagan making a massive impact particularly on the Sherry Fitzgerald sign. Murphy’s straight line running, and ‘Robust’ qualities were just too hot to handle. He’s the type of player that would unplug your ventilator to plug in his phone charger. In the final 15 minutes Clanna Gael began to tire while Boden seemed to find another gear. Defenders Gray, Murphy and Hanrahan registered scores of their own while move of the day fell to Dunne (Michael). Collecting the ball in space 30 meters from goal, he set off quicker than Monahan stashing money from the Revenue Commissioners. A jink left, a jink right and he buried the ball in the bottom corner of the net. Game over.
“There are a lot of positives to take from the game and some things that we need to work on. I thought the full back was particularly impressive today, controlling the play and rock solid under the highball,” said full back Jack Lambert. Mentor Martin Murphy was overheard taking credit for the team’s performance before being bundled into the back of van by two of Monahan’s henchmen. Will he go the same way as Wally Durkin……………..only time will tell.
Final Score: BBSE 3-15 Clanna Gael 1-11
Team: Stephen McGrath, Josh Kane, Conor Hanrahan (0-1), Jack Lambert, Evan Nugent, John Murphy (0-1), Eoin Behan, Scott Cullen, Callum Gray (0-1), Ryan Baines, Michael McDonald (0-1), Colm Dunne (0-2), John McGuire, Ciaran O’Reilly (1-0), Ciaran Duggan (1-4 (1xF)), Michael Dunne (1-1), Dylan Walsh, Luke Byrne (0-4 (2XF)), Evan Flanagan, Emmet Doogan
Postscript: We would like to thank Emmet Doogan for his commitment to the club and wish him well on his new life in Frankfurt. Also, to Daragh Kilduff whose penchant for Toblerone, sees him starting a new life in Switzerland. Thanks a million, and best of luck lads, you’re not the first people Donal has had “Relocated”!!!!!!!!
Can Of The Match: Evan Nugent. Congratulations, a 500ml can of Bulmers is winging its way to you.
Special thanks to Liam Cunningham for the photos, see more on our FB page here